Skiing in Alps. Advices of a savvy traveler.

Our group was staying in several hotels. Some tourists booked the hotel that was a little bit cheaper than ours. But our hotel provided free breakfast, which in Geneva can easily cost $15 per person.

Here “s how you should arrive to the breakfast area of the hotel that serves breakfast for free. Put on a shirt with max number of pockets. Your wife should bring purse with her. Kids can go as they are because they still have some moral principles. After you “re done eating, put some salami in the left breast pocket of your shirt. Eggs and cheese fit nicely in the right one. Jeans are for apples, bananas and mandarins. If you didn “t forget to bring zipped plastic bag, you can secure a pint of juice if available. I don “t recommend you pouring hot coffee in the plastic bag as it may burn your private parts through your Jeans pocket. This little advice can keep you running till dinner.

The bottom line, when you book the hotel, don “t just go by the room price. See if the breakfast, Internet, and car parking (if you “re driving) are free. Add all these numbers for each hotel you “re considering, and you “ll be able to make an educated decision.

A large bus with a trailer for luggage arrived on time, but when you expect to board more than 60 people arriving by all kinds of transportation from different origins, delays are inevitable, and we had to wait a little for a couple arriving from Lyon by train. Here my rules of boarding the bus for people who travel alone.

When Dora asked everyone on the bus to check if his/her travel partner was seating nearby, it reminded me a joke.

After a pee stop, a tour guide asks the passengers to check if no ones is missing. Everything was fine and the bus took off. Three hours later a police car passes and stops the bus. A policeman and a well dressed lady enter the bus. She stops by the row 14 and says, “Simon, not with your luck! rdquo;

Here “s another simple bus rule. Say, you are boarding a half empty bus knowing that the bus will be full. You can pick any seat you like.

Alex, what seat would you take? Big mistake. Don “t take an empty two seater.

Since the bus will be full anyway, the chances are high that when someone will take a seat next to you, this someone will be a bulky person and you want enjoy your ride. What should you do?

Look at the two-seaters that already have one passenger, pick a petite girl and sit down next to her. Pay special attention to Chinese or Japanese girls as they are super slim.

Finally, one more advice that was shared with me by a savvy air traveler. If you don “t want to sit next by a mom with a screaming toddler, always have a porno magazine in your carry on bag. Take your seat on the plane and start browsing the magazine. If a mom with a toddler has a seat next to you, she “ll make sure that the flight attendant will move her to a different seat.

After two hours ride on the bus, we “ve arrived to the winter ski village in France. It “s 30 degrees and promises snow almost every day next week. Checked into the resort was smooth. Internet costs one euro per hour. The food was great as expected. Tomorrow is the first day of skiing.

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