Fifteen years ago, when a New York company needed a programmer, it would publish an ad in the classified section of Sunday edition of New York Times. The paper would charge by column/inch. The ads were short and up to the point. Only big guys like IBM, Microsoft or Oracle could afford to purchase an eights or a quarter of a page.

The smaller placement agencies were placing heavily abbreviated ads to squeeze in 15 words position description and the contact info.

These days, the life is different – we live in the paperless Internet world, and job boards place ads that are hundreds words. Below you ‘ll see an ad placed by Alta IT Services – they are looking for a mid-level Java developer that I picked from Dice search board. It ‘s more that 550 words.

Who needs to read all this bullshit? Doesn ‘t “Mid-level Java developer ” says it all? OK, you need to be more specific, add another 10 words. But please, don ‘t give me this crap like “Works under general direction to achieve project milestones and cost objectives “. Isn ‘t it clear that this poor mid-level Java developer will have a boss and unrealistic deadlines?

Or take this gem, “Assists development efforts in a specialized area of the project “. WTF? Please, explain me what does it mean?

One more, “Interfaces with staff from other systems, other contractors, and government agencies “. I guess, that they want a mid-level Java developer who can talk. Actually, deaf and mute people can also communicate with other contractors, aren ‘t they?

This one is the best: “Must have 3 years Java programming experience within the last 5 years (actual coding exp. ” I am speechless. The would accept a candidate who was coding in Java for 5 years and programming in Java three years out of five? Did I get it right?

I have an idea, this ad can be used during technical job interview too. If a candidate can explain what every sentence of this add means and is comfortable working in this environment, he ‘s hired!

But I ‘m going to pass on this opportunity. If you ‘d like to apply, here ‘s the URL for this job post: http://tinyurl.com/atraf7

If the link has expired, here ‘s the full text of that ad, enjoy!

twitter.com/yfain

Job Description

* Works under general direction to achieve project milestones and cost objectives.

* Efficiently produces software/software changes and documentation/documentation changes that are somewhat error free.

* Functions in a specialty discipline of the project such as hardware interface, inter-agency interface, legacy evolution, infrastructure, data mining, etc.

* Assists development efforts in a specialized area of the project.

* Develops and operates technical testing (unit and/or integration) prior to turning software packages over to the Development Lead and/or the Configuration Manager; activities include developing, perfecting, and executing the test scripts.

* Produces technical documentation to satisfy quality standards imposed by ICE OCIO, ITESS, and the project.

* Performs data migration and data fixes.

* Helps define the project scope, plans, and deliverables by working with the Operations Lead and Release Leads/Requirements Analysts.

* Demonstrates an understanding of the clients* business and IT needs as well as their IT standards for software, hardware, and documentation (the lifecycle).

* Produces rough order of magnitudes, estimates, and detailed impact assessments.

* Interfaces with staff from other systems, other contractors, and government agencies.

* Communicates with the Development Lead to notify him/her of development milestones (ready for builds, completion of TPR rework, etc).

* Demonstrates good record keeping through updates to the SCR (planned amp; actual effort, rework effort, affected components, impacts, related SCRs, notes, etc.) as well as the CIAs, unit test cases, and designs.

* Reports on development status; reports are thorough, clear, and include areas of concern which may require Development Lead attention.

* Sets up and maintains security rights and access permissions for team members, testers, support staff, and users as needed.

* Reports on progress/issues to Development Lead, Operations Lead, Release Leads, Project Management and users to ensure that all stakeholders are made aware so that action can be taken as needed.

* Researches system problems detected during environment setup, development, testing, implementation, and production to identify and fix the root cause of the problem so that there is minimal impact to the project schedule and the users.

* Identifies, develops, updates, and enforces policies, standards, and procedures (technical and non-technical).

* Reviews and provides input on system designs to ensure selection of appropriate technology, efficient use of resources, and integration of multiple systems and technologies.

* Monitors and ensures resolutions of performance issues.

* Researches and stays current on emerging tools, techniques, and technologies that are relevant or may benefit the FPS Program.

* Completes all corporate-required training and project-required training on time.

* Completes all corporate data calls on time.

* Completes timecards daily.

* Completes other tasks as assigned.

Skills

Technical

* Must have some experience developing web applications

* Must demonstrate some Java skills and object oriented design experience

* Must have 3 years Java programming experience within the last 5 years (actual coding exp.) or 3 years ASP, Visual Basic or Cold Fusion within the last 10 years (actual coding exp.)

* Must have exposure to a range of Java technologies

* Must possess some database skills * Oracle or SQL Server required

* Must possess knowledge of session management and XML web services

* May have experience with large-scale enterprise applications

* May demonstrate proven track record of excellent estimation skills

* Spend 100% of the time completing technical tasks (coding and related documentation)

Other

* Must be a US Citizen